Check out amazing theories on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!

One of Roald Dahl’s beloved classic books, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, was remade into a movie – twice! The first one is that lovely, heartfelt film starring Gene Wilder that includes the sweet “Cheer up, Charlie” song. The second one is treasured in a Tim Burton sort of fun loving, witty and quirky way. Who doesn’t love watching the beautiful perfect match that is Johnny Depp and Tim Burton? Even from the start, the creepy puppets who sing “Willy Wonka” and then explode into a fiery inferno establish a comically macabre essence to the movie. Audience members love it so much they’ve come up with alternative ideas based on different aspects of the movie, such as: Willy Wonka the serial killer, Willy Wonka is George Weasley, Willy Wonka has C-PTSD, the children represent the deadly sins, Charlie was the rightful heir and Wonka rigged the tickets so that he would get the last one.

So could Willy Wonka really be a serial killer? It seems pretty certain that Wonka intended for each child, except for Charlie who is the rightful heir – but we will get to that in a minute – to die or at least be very badly maimed to teach a lesson. First, the grossly chocolate-obsessed large boy mistakenly reaches too far into the river of chocolate. Wonka doesn’t just get him out, he lets him be sucked up into the giant tube of potential death! And when he asks the Oompa Loompa to rescue him, he tells him to, “poke around,” with a big stick. Poking the child won’t save him from drowning and the mom clearly says he can’t swim! Oops. Wonka doesn’t seem too concerned. Oh well, we have a garbage chute. As long as they don’t sell him in the chocolate because, “ew. No one would buy it,” but who actually cares what happens to the boy though?

Second, the “beastly girl” that takes everything for the win of course takes Wonka’s gum even though he says it’s not quite finished. And then, well, serves her right, she turns into a blueberry. Then the girl who’s dad can’t help but be a pushover for her gets attacked by the squirrels who determine her a, “bad nut,” a few scenes after she tells Wonka, “you already said that.” They throw her into the garbage disposal. Obviously she’s trash. Wonka fumbles through his keys and then gets to the right key to let her dad follow her just in the nick of time – at the end of the squirrel mauling. Coincidence? I think not!

Third of course, the know-it-all Mike Teavee just has to be on T.V. because it’s his namesake, so he disrespects Wonka and runs into the machine. Wonka of course simply does nothing, letting the, “mumbler!” get hurt of his own accord.

Oh, and don’t forget the, “they can’t, there’s no knowing where they’re going,” disturbing boat ride that should have turned into a theme park ride – we totally deserve credit for this idea by the way – that completely justifies that he’s a serial killer. He spent years and years making chocolates and candies for the world, only to watch the world have many disgusting people fight and clamor, steal and disrespect his vision. So what better way than to teach people by example of these five children? And have a little witty and humorous fun beforehand. He doesn’t try to kill Charlie of course because he’s only out to get the bad kids. What better punishment than death?

Next theory is that Willy Wonka is George Weasley. Think about it: Wonka has magic. Otherwise how could he have turned that egg in Grandpa Joe’s mouth into a teeny adorable little bird? How could he have made hair-growing candy? How could he have made an entire three course dinner into a piece of “Wonka’s Magic Chewing Gum”? How could he make an “Everlasting Gobstopper” that lasts a very long time? How could he make the cotton candy sheep pink before he shaves them? He has magic, that’s how. Not to mention, look at the styles of both Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, aka the Weasley & Weasley joke shop, and Willy Wonka’s merchandise; they’re obviously the same exact themes and styles. Lastly, look at their marketing skills. George realizes that no one from Hogwarts will actually be allowed to go to Diagon Alley each weekend anymore, so they instead sell things closer to Hogwarts with discounts for the students. Willy Wonka realizes that Slugworth and a few others are stealing his ideas, so he closes his shop for a while and then reopens it only to send chocolate out into the world, thereby continuing to make money without anybody pocketing his revelations.

Up next, our intense theory that Wonka has complex PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder regarding his parents. Why? Because he does. “Do these flashbacks happen often?” “Increasingly… today,” since today he’s consistently around five kids and their, “p—pp—yeah. Moms and dads.” Flashbacks are a major side-effect of complex post-traumatic stress disorder. C-PTSD comes from suffering continuing trauma, particularly as a child, which Wonka has endured. Not to mention, people with C-PTSD can experience passionate emotions even when they’re inappropriate, and can sometimes feel like they’re living in a dream. Wonka’s factory is like his dream incarnate – he used this aspect of his C-PTSD to his advantage! Great work, Wonka, and we all love the products of it as well so thank you. It’s too bad about your dad though. He sounded like a real jerk. At least you turned out all right. You know, except for the serial killer thing that feels wrong but right since you’re only trying to kill off the bad nuts—and the C-PTSD that seriously must suck for you.

So, back to the whole “bad nut” thing. Why are these kids so bad? Well they follow the seven deadly sins. So Augustus clearly is full of glutton, and chocolate – yikes. The glutton in Augustus is so big we can see it without question – no further explanation needed. Violet is greedy and must get everything no matter what she steps on. Her mom encourages this “beastly” behavior. Violet’s greed when she takes the gum against Wonka’s advice turns her into the very blueberry dessert she took. Talk about irony. Veruca is sloth and expects “daddy” to do and get everything for her. So her laziness makes her yell for her dad instead of just getting up when the squirrels attack her, so she gets thrown into the garbage chute along with the other bad nuts. Of course Daddy follows. Also, it shows laziness of the parent as well. Instead of teaching her, Daddy just gives her everything she wants. Mike Teavee’s pride gets him shrunk and thrown into so many disconcerting television programs that he too almost dies. His dad too is part of the issue, just folding over and allowing Mike’s pride to pretty much run the show. So in the end, the show runs him.

Spoiler alert! But after all this, I think we need some good news finally! Charlie on the other hand actually teaches Wonka about loyalty when he chooses his family above all the chocolate in the world. The grandmother who is always wrong was finally right, “things are going to get much better!” Charlie helps Wonka ask his father why he was so cruel to him, and then Wonka starts healing and allows Charlie’s family to join them in the factory. A very lovely ending and a very good lesson. Wonka asks Charlie what he does when he wants to feel better. Charlie’s sweet reply says he relies on his family, thereby giving a moral to this adorned classic.

Which leads me to the last theory: that Charlie was the rightful heir all along and maybe Wonka even knew it and rigged the whole thing so that Charlie would get the last ticket. How interesting would it be if the entire town knew that Charlie would get the Golden Ticket, but last? They prune him by keeping the family down and poor so that Charlie would stay good and humble, and then finally when he wins, he gets everything he’s ever wanted and he’s actually grateful for it. And as they say in the Gene Wilder version, “don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted. He lived happily ever after.” Charlie is so sweet and unpretentious that he even teaches Wonka about love and life. He’s the perfect heir. However, this does lead back a little bit to the idea that Wonka is a serial killer who wanted to do the right yet wrong thing by killing off the bad kids and praising the one good kid left. It also identifies, how rude could this town be by keeping this information the entire time just to prune Charlie into being the perfect heir? Seems very The Truman Show. But hey, think about why they did it. They needed the perfect heir for their perfect factory to stay afloat after Wonka’s death because why? Well, as Wonka says, “because, that’s why.” Because everyone loves chocolate.